What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
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