What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Go to BabaMail
