Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath.
She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
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