How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
"No body won the skeleton race."
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
"Bone to be wild."
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
"Lazy bones."
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
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