Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
"Lazy bones."
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.