Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.