Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY