What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!