What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.