I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.