What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.