What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!