What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.