What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.