An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.