What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.