What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
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