What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Go to BabaMail
