What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.