After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
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