Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Go to BabaMail
