Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
All farts...are laughing gas.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
Only a**holes use bidets.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
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