What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
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