What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
All farts...are laughing gas.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
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