If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
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