If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
All farts...are laughing gas.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Go to BabaMail
