What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
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