What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
Only a**holes use bidets.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Go to BabaMail
