When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Dialysis is a blood bath.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Said to my husband I'm going to take a hot tub. He said...
"When are you going to put it back?"
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
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