Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
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