In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
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