Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Air resistance is a real drag.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
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