I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
Salty but sweet.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Tropic like it's hot.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
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