Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
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