I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
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