How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
All stereos are so typical.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
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