Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
All stereos are so typical.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
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