Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Go to BabaMail
