I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
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