What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
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