My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
Go to BabaMail
