A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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