Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Go to BabaMail
