What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
All stereos are so typical.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
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