What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
Go to BabaMail
