What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
All stereos are so typical.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
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