I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
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