What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
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