What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
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