What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Go to BabaMail
