The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
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