Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
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