What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Go to BabaMail
