What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.