How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
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