Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
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