What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.