Dirty Puns

If you have a dirty mind and a love for word games - You've come to the right category!

What do you call a persian that smokes pot? Harry Potter.
It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn't block access to porn sites on the internet.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?
It's not Hard.
What do you call a religious guy with a hard on?
A firm believer.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a chicken? A clucking gobbler.
What do you call a judge with no balls? Justice Prick
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
I nearly got sacked when I was caught masturbating on my first day starting a job as a roofer.
Luckily, the boss said I could wipe the slate clean.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have se*? Because they have cotton balls.
What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.
Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans.
I'm sorry for taking your daughter's virginity
It won't happen again.
What does a robot do after s*x?
Nuts and bolts.
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.
So the bartender gives her one.
Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.
What do you call a guy who is skilled in the art of oral se*?
A cunnilinguist.
Masturbation should be considered a craft...
as it is 100% hand made.
What has 2 butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Why did Bruce Willis die with a smile on his face?
Because he died hard.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

It was Luke warm.
If you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other, what have you got?
A bloody big moth!
I just learned what BBC stood for.
It was a lot to take in.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for?
For fingering a minor.
Two condoms are walking down the street...
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
I wouldn’t say it’s easy living with erectile dysfunction.
But it’s not hard.
Saw my violin teacher on the 9 o’clock news...
He was fiddling with the kids.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar? Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there. What's the best part of gardening? Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
If Russia attacked Turkey from the Rear...would Greece help?
Why was two piece swimsuit invented? To separate the hairy from the dairy.
My violin tutor told me my fingering was good but my positions could be better.
And then we started the lesson.
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