What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Ah! The element of surprise.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows