What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Biology - It grows on you.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
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