Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Go to BabaMail
