What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
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