Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.