What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.