What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.