Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.