A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."