Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.