How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.