I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.