Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.