What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.