My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
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