How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
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