I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
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