My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Go to BabaMail
