What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
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