I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
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