I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
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