What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
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