What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
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