Cell phones are a static symbol.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
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