I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!