Phone Puns

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How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
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