Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Go to BabaMail
