What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game. He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills? The Romans.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones. I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find! Way fewer bars!!!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died? I suggest you find an outlet!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone. I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What did the phone say to begin the race? On your marks, handset, go!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk? You get stinky service!
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone. The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list. Now I'm Hanns free.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested? It was charged with battery.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number..... Available balance: $9.11.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I got a new cell phone for my wife... Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones? Probably because it had a bad reception.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson? A gap in coverage.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were Prime mates!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?" "Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone... ...It was a close call.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
You know you're texting too much when... you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up. I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What kind of phone does a burglar use? A no-key-a.