How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
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