I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.