Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C