Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
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