I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
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