What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
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