What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Go to BabaMail
