Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.